The increasing dangers of online dating and ways to protect yourself from them.
It’s the 21stCentury and the way we date and meet new people has changed a lot. Since the Covid-19 pandemic the use of dating apps has increased as a result of restrictions to social gatherings where we previously would’ve been able to meet new people and go from there.
There has always been a risk when it comes to online dating, especially for women. We don’t know who it is that we are meeting or what kind of person they actually are. There have been so many headlines about women who have been attacked or worse when meeting someone for their date or afterwards and this was before dating apps were used more frequently to find someone.
Now we normally match with someone, perhaps talk to them for a while and then take things to the next stage where we actually meet them in real life. The prospect of meeting a complete stranger has always been daunting and with the increased risk to women’s safety in recent years the idea of going to see someone we don’t know has a much higher risk.
New research conducted by the National Crime Agency suggests that 85% of female sexual assault victims were linked to online dating. Another study stated that 43% of initial face to face meetings between a victim and the offender occurred within the first week of meeting online.
Essex Police released a full report on the number of times a dating app had been mentioned in crime reports between the years of 2018 and 2020. So far, the data shows that Tinder and Plenty of Fish had the most reports annually. Such offences mentioned in the crime report, include; rape, other sexual offences and violence with or without injury.
Despite the horrifying figures that further display the dangers of meeting people online and then meeting in person, dating apps are not going to disappear- nor are people going to stop using them. Therefore, it is vital that you become more aware of the risks involved and educate yourself to ensure that when you go ahead with your date you have taken every step to protect yourself.
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Tips on how to stay safe when using dating apps:
Ensure that you use an app which verifies users through an identification process.
Certain apps don’t have a feature where you can check if someone is verified/can actually verify yourself, such as Hinge.
Bumble and Tinder leave verification as optional for users, so if you use these apps make sure that you change your settings to only see users who are verified.
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Thursday dating has a requirement upon registering that you must upload a form of identification and then further steps to prove that it is you on the profile.
But just because there are these options and your date may have been verified doesn’t ensure your safety completely. There are still risks outside of the dating app that must be made aware and to ensure your safety you should make sure you take these other precautions.
Do your research.
Always make sure you know who you are talking to ahead of the in person meet. Especially if all you know about the person is a few details and images from their dating profile. Not everyone uses social media, which may make this step a little tricky, but there is no harm in trying to search them on social media platforms. If you’re unsure whether or not they use sites such as, Instagram or Facebook, you can always ask your date upfront.
Get visual proof of your date before meeting them.
Your date may have multiple pictures on their dating profile but this isn’t always enough. Suggest moving the conversation onto another platform to talk, such as, Snapchat or WhatsApp. This way you can exchange picture messages to get extra verification that it is the same person you matched with.
Although, you still be aware that this isn’t always enough. There are many tactics that your date can use to forge the images if they are using someone else’s identity. One of the best ways to be 100% certain of the person you are talking to, is by Face-Timing them. Many people don’t like using video calls, and you may be one of them. However, it is a sure fire way to prove your date’s identity and make you feel at ease before going on a date.
Meet your date in an area that you are familiar with and is close to home.
There is nothing worse than meeting someone for the first time and feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. What can make this worse is being in a place you are unfamiliar with which is far away from where you live.
When planning the first date make sure that you choose somewhere that you are familiar with. Don’t let them persuade you to go somewhere that you don’t feel comfortable with and is far away from your home.
This will be a saving grace if you need to get away quickly, you know the route home and you have friends or family nearby that can come and meet you if need be.
Go somewhere that is busy so that if you have any trouble or feel unsafe you can turn to someone for help.
Going somewhere that has a lot of other people is a safe option, you aren’t secluded and alone and you can speak to someone if something goes wrong.
Look out for ‘Ask for Angela’ posters in the restrooms. These are designed for when a date goes wrong or something doesn’t feel right. It is designed so that you can turn to a member of staff and state that you are looking for ‘Angela’. The code-phrase will alert the staff that you are in trouble and they will help out of the situation safely.
If you can’t find this poster, turn to a member of staff away from your date and inform them of what is happening. Don’t suffer in silence, your safety is a priority.
Use Find My Friends or other tracking apps to share with friends or family so they know your location.
Don’t rely on snap maps. Yes, it does show your location but it only updates when you actually open the app, and if something bad happens there won’t always be time to go on your phone and open it. Ensure you have ‘Find My Friends’ or something similar downloaded on your phone and add your friends or family to it. You don’t have to always allow them to see where you are and you can turn it off when you’re home safe but make sure they are aware of the app and how it works.
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Below are a few location apps that I have trailed and found easy to use and effective:
Find My Friends
As previously mentioned, Find My Friends is a good option for sharing locations between friends and family. However, it must be noted that this app was designed primarily for Apple, but Android has developed their own version. Not only this, users have the option to turn their location on and off when they wish.
Life360 is free to download and use, although there are some features which users will have to pay for. This app not only keeps users up to date of others locations, but it also has the option of seeing previous journeys and how long a user has stayed at a location for. There is a feature which allows users to be notified when their friends or family leave a location- this is ideal if you are leaving your date and want others to know in a subtle manner.
Not only is it effective for location accuracy but it is user friendly for all ages.
For people who don’t feel comfortable with constantly sharing their location, WhatsApp has a feature which allows users to share their location for a selected period of time. This is easy to use and if you already have the app there is no extra hassle involved. Not only this but you don’t have to pay extra for this feature- therefore, it is accessible to everyone.